Note to self...

So where did April go seriously, I just feel like it has completely flown without me having a second to think.

In terms of my monthly goals I have been completely slacking and this post is just a reminder to myself to keep going in the right direction.

I also need to listen to my own advice. I continuously try and help people by writing this blog and offering advice the best I can. This month however I have gone off track a little bit and let my anxiety start taking control again, I am not really sure what has brought it on but I have found that it has been helpful to read back over my own writing and remind myself just how far I have come and how much better I have been compared to last year. I find it relatively easy to offer advice to other people and I always want to do the best for others. I do however find it the most difficult to actually listen to myself. 

Getting tangled back up into a constant state of worry can happen quite easily for me but in reality I know exactly what I should be doing to make myself better and I know I can feel better because I know I have done before.

So instead of being ignorant and letting my anxiety take control of me, I am going to do the easiest yet potentially hardest thing and take my own advice.

However, I do think it is important that we don’t sugar coat anxiety and it is vital that more awareness is raised about it as an actual illness.

It is more than likely that my anxiety is something which will never fully disappear. Acceptance is one of the biggest steps. I am probably always going to occasionally need some support and reassurance about my anxiety or any other problems I may have. I am the sort of person who feels better when I talk openly about any worries I have instead of letting them build up inside me. I have realised recently I have quite a few of people around me who are there to offer me the support I need, when I need it and can understand how I feel. I need to remember that I am not alone in this situation and I know that these people will be there for me whenever, if  I have a hard day or even a hard week.

Being able to recognise the symptoms of anxiety and knowing when I am feeling panicky should be seen as a positive and in turn I should use the knowledge and skills I have already learnt to move forward and make myself feel better again.

I need to take time to give myself more credit for how much better I am than I was before and how far I have actually come since the worst point. I have done things which I never thought I would be able to do again and things that I had never done before. I have always been my own worst enemy and bring myself down for the tiniest setbacks. I shouldn’t look back on the past and compare myself to how I have felt before as there is nothing I can do about it, ‘let the past bury, it’s already dead’ (Dale Carnegie). 

I am going to stop putting pressure on myself to feel a certain way and know that it is perfectly normal to have 'wobbles' occasionally. If the worst thing about me is that I have anxiety once in a while then things can't be too bad. 

I also started missing a couple of circuit training classes and now have got into the habit of not going for one reason or another. So it will be coming up to a month of me not doing much exercise. I know myself the positive results and all round benefits of exercise so I really need to get back on it as soon as possible. 

I am also going to aim to start running again, it doesn't need to be a specific distance or completed in a certain time I just need to run. According to the Dr's I naturally produce a lot of adrenaline anyway and it is useful to use it in a productive way that letting it go to waste and feeling rubbish as a result. 

Here's to moving forward, taking small steps, and staying positive.