And in time, this too shall pass...

Now after being ‘diagnosed’ with some kind of mental health issue, be it anxiety, panic attacks, depression or perhaps you are just a negative or shy person once there has been a label given to you it can suddenly feel like people expect you to wake up and it have disappeared overnight. It isn’t something you can cure, but there are ways which you can help yourself feel better.

You start to get into a routine in which your mind has controlled which makes doing anything outside of your comfort zone seem terrifying. So many times I have stuck to doing things and being in situations which don’t scare me. In the past as soon as I have taken a foot outside my comfort zone I have felt anxious. This has led to me being scared of doing and going to simple everyday things. If you are reading this and suffer from any of those issues mentioned above you will understand that just the thought of doing those things genuinely scares you. You wish you could and want more than anything to be able to say yes to an invitation or just simply go to that place which terrifies you.

I have spent the last few years in the same mind set. But it recently got progressively worse to the point of me refusing to go to see James Bond at the cinema with my boyfriend and instead him having to take my little sister because I was too ‘scared to go. At the time it felt like the only option was to run away from it all and say no instead of facing the situation. It is easy for people to say ‘lifes too short’ or ‘don’t worry, you’ll be fine’ but once your brain has gone down that path it seems like there is no way out.

Getting to how I feel now hasn’t been easy. It has taken quite a long time for me to change my thought patterns and it is very difficult to force your brain to think differently after it has believed certain things for the length of time that it has.

Only recently, after getting some help and being in more control of my anxiety I have been thinking I never want to have the feeling of regretting not doing something or never enjoying every day things because I was too scared to do them. The lady who I saw for the therapy sessions taught me how to put things into perspective. Using this technique every day has already made a massive difference to my life. If I start to feel a little bit anxious about something or a situation I remember her saying to me put it into perspective. Now instead of avoiding a situation to prevent myself from feeling anxious or having a panic attack, I try and tell myself it will be OK if I do feel anxious or panicky but nothing too serious will happen. It feels better to be able to say you tried to do something which made you feel anxious instead of wondering what might have happened if you hadn’t gone or done it in the first place.

Another very important thing is to start taking control of your problem rather than it be in control of you. It is more than likely that it is something which you have to live with and therefore accepting that fact is a massive step. For a while after being told that I had some kind of anxiety disorder I found it hard to accept that some days I felt fine and only the next day I felt completely awful. I decided to start calling my bad days ‘wobble’ days because then I know that’s all they are and I know I can feel better again. You should never ever be discouraged by a ‘wobble day’ and they are only as severe as you let them be. I have read a very good book which I would recommend to absolutely everyone. One thing I use to encourage myself on a ‘wobble day’ is that there is no such thing as no point of return. Once you understand where those awful feelings have come from you can  move forward.   For people to say ‘There is always tomorrow’ it can make you angry when you have suffered from anxiety for a long time. When you are in that specific mind frame you think you will feel awful forever never mind tomorrow. My auntie has always said this to me and it is a very helpful thing to say to yourself to see things in a more positive way. Remember that if you have a bit of a ‘wobble’ you can use tomorrow as a fresh start and no matter what happens you always have that opportunity to forget about yesterday.

Anxiety and panic attacks are really really horrible but it is important to never look back on the times when you have felt at your worst and never compare yourself other people. You must try and use your new ways of thinking to your best advantage. Why should you miss out on all the little things in life which you haven’t been noticing because you feel afraid.

For me it wasn’t about completely changing as a person and all of a sudden becoming some kind of adrenaline junky. It was important for me just to enjoy the everyday situations which I hadn’t felt comfortable in for a while. Going on public transport without feeling anxious has been a massive step for me because I had started to actually feel scared of catching trains. Going to the cinema and out for tea without feeling anxious was another thing which I felt very proud of myself for doing last month. Now, they may seem like insignificant things to other people but they were things that I was afraid of. 

So, no matter how big or small your fears are once you start to face them you feel so much more confident and feel happier in yourself. Once you feel like you can do those little things without your anxiety creeping up on you it gives you a boost to do more things, perhaps things which you wouldn’t have even dreamt about doing before. One night last month was the first time in a verrrry long time that I went to an actual pub surrounded by drunk people and even had a couple of drinks myself without feeling an ounce of anxiety and afterwards I felt so happy with myself that I could actually do it.

You should take this part of your anxiety or any other kind of issue at your own pace and take each step as quickly or as slowly as you feel comfortable with. This time it isn’t about people telling you what to do it is about you being in control of your own personal situation. You only have one life, but it is yours so don’t let anyone or anything take over the control which you have.