Initiating the conversation with someone that you think you
may be suffering from or have been diagnosed with a mental illness is one aspect
of the whole thing which I have found the most difficult.
Although
the blog post is written from the point of a view of someone who has had to
have this particular type of conversation this may be helpful for those who
need or want to start a conversation about anything to anyone.
For me, talking has been the best possible therapy whether it has just been a quick
chat to someone about my anxiety or eventually plucking up the courage to speak
to a doctor. I understand how difficult speaking
about serious problems can be for some people and it especially doesn’t come easy when it
is something you find hard to talk about openly. There may be many reasons for feeling nervous about talking about your problem. One reason for me actually was having to admit there was something wrong and accepting that I have an anxiety
disorder,saying it out loud makes it real.
Initially
it is important you talk to someone you trust and feel you can talk to about
your problem. It is more than likely that you are going to be talking about an
issue which can make you feel uncomfortable so finding the right person to
begin the conversation with is vital. In some cases this could be your doctor and in that case you will already be taking the first step to feeling better and
accepting that something is wrong. For me although going to the doctors wasn’t
my first port of call the conversation I did have with the doctor immediately
made me feel better because he understood how and why I was feeling the way I
did. I also believe that it can be the hardest thing telling people who you are
close to and speaking to someone who has experience of people suffering with
the same symptoms as yourself can be reassuring it itself.
If you
are a person who is listening during this conversation remember that this
person has chosen to open up about something which is possibly very difficult
for them to talk about. Try to come across as relaxed as possible and although
you may not understand how this person is feeling make them aware that you are
there to listen.
I think
it is important to find the right time and place to begin your conversation
about your problem. You want to feel as comfortable as possible when you are
discussing how you feel. This may be that you would prefer to be at home in a
familiar environment or you may feel better going for a coffee or
doing something which you would do on a day to day basis which could encourage you to feel more ‘normal’ about the conversation you are going to have. Being away from home could also offer more opportunity to talk about different things and not just
focus on your problem.
Again, if you are reading this and you are on the receiving end
of the conversation it is helpful if you perhaps change the subject of the
conversation if the other person is showing signs of feeling uncomfortable. However it is imperative that you make them aware that you are there to listen
and offer support and advice and will help in any way possible (this is most
likely to be different with different people and different situations).
Take
your time and don’t feel that you have to rush and tell everyone you know about
how you feel.
You may find you will need more than one conversation about your issue with the same person or you will need to repeat it to different
people.
You may not want to start the initial conversation face to face
with someone, perhaps you could send an email or text message rather
than saying everything all in one go. This means the person who is discussing their problems should be patient with the person
who is listening and realise that it may take time for them to understand how
you are feeling. And vice-versa for the other person, allow the individual to take their time and not to rush them into
talking or taking the next steps.
I find
that due to the lack of understanding other people have about mental illness
this makes it harder for the sufferer to talk openly about it. Although there
are many charities etc. which aim to get rid of the stigma attached to mental
health a lot of people still make their own assumptions on how that individual should be
feeling. I strongly suggest that people on both sides of the conversation
should do their own personal research about whatever the issue may be in order to
get a brief understanding. Perhaps the sufferer could print out some
information or use a book to try and make it easier to for the other
person to understand more about how they are feeling.
I hope these few little pointers help when it comes to talking to someone about any problems you may have.
Let me know if you have any other methods and advice regarding this topic!
