Please don't give up...

It can be easy to believe you don't have the strength to keep on going, to feel like you don't have any energy left. But trust me you do, you wouldn't be where you are if you weren't a tough cookie.

When it feel so hard it's a sign that good things are about to happen. It can be hard to see all the things we are being brave about, but if I we were constantly aware of Everything then that would reinforce that we are scared of whatever it is.

I saw a quote last week that said that the desire to quit something is a sign that you are closer to succeeding. This quote gave me a much needed boost of belief in myself and my ability to deal with certain things.

So just when you're feeling like everything is getting a little too much... life doesn't throw things at you that you aren't strong enough to handle. You absolutely can do this!

Be yourself...

I am a strong believer in just being yourself and I have probably written something very similar before now.

I think we live in a society where there is constant pressure to be a certain way and everyday can feel like a competition with other people.

Obviously everyone has the need or want to change certain things about themselves and that's perfectly fine.

But I've discovered that specific things are specific to you as a person and are near impossible to change.

 It's absolutely draining trying to change a part of you that's just who you are.

 Surely if that's part of your personality or make up then you should embrace it and use it to the best of its ability, instead of trying to squash it down and feeling deflated and drained when no matter how much you try it just won't go away.

We wouldn't say to someone that they absolutely need to alter a physical part of themselves so why is it ok to drag someone down because they are too nice, too quiet or even too funny?

And as cheesy as this sounds, in the words of Jessie J, 'Just be true to who you are'

Free floating Anxiety...

When trying to explain to someone what a anxiety is it can be quite difficult because everyone feels anxious at some point through their life.

One good thing is, yeah, it is possible for every single human  being to feel anxious so what you're feeling isn't something abnormal. However with free floating Anxiety and other anxiety disorders the feeling is pretty much there most of the time.

There is usually no specific cause and you will normally worry about everything and anything. This is why its the worst when people say 'just try not to worry' because it's literally impossible.

There are so many different types of anxiety and diferent ways it can manifest which I don't think many people realise. I know so many people who suffer from it but it's always a tiny bit different in each person.

On top of all the thoughts people with anxiety have they will also be having loads of physical symptoms at the same time. This usually causes even more anxiety because you don't know whats going on. After my most recent Drs trip, he said that people have never really connected the brain and physical symptoms, but they are so closely linked. Even being a bit run down physically can play havoc on anxiety.

Anxiety will normally vary in intensity throughtout a persons life and get better or worse at different times.

I just take comfort in knowing I'm not alone and so many people go through this on a daily basis. And also that these feelings are normal, it wouldn't even be possible to feel them if it wasnt. It annoys me that having extreme levels of anxiety is always seen as a weakness but everyone feels it just in different amounts.

Be strong...

Just when I thought I'd felt every anxiety symptom possible, I started feeling a tad strange again.

I wrote before about depersonalisation being a symptom of anxiety and it is something I have felt before but not for long periods of time. This time it's decided to stick around for longer than I would of liked.

So basically what happens is when your brain has had enough of being anxious it goes into protective mode, pretty clever really but can be quite freaky when you don't know what's going on.

I was scared about writing about this, silly really when I'm so open about having anxiety and encourage people to be the same. But I'm not going to lie I've felt like I am literally about to lose my mind at any second.

When you have depersonalisation and derealisation you feel like you're in a dream 24/7, kinda like you're on drugs which for some people sounds like a joy but for someone who is obsessed with being in control of yourself it's bloody awful!
I've also had symptoms where I've not felt like myself, especially when I look in the mirror, I do know it's me and I look exactly like I always have but not felt like me inside.

The good news is everyone has said I'm acting exactly the same as always and they can't tell at all! Which to me is a massive relief when I've felt so odd!

So, in true , 'me' style I have got as much reassurance from people as possible and also took a trip to the Drs! Luckily I have a very understanding Dr and he knew immediately what I was harping on about! He told me it's completely normal and its very common in anxiety sufferers unfortunately. Basically us peeps with anxiety are uber aware of every little feeling our body feels compared with other people. He told me to know it will get better and that I have overcome everything else and it is possible to overcome this too. Phew!!

I have started to realise that we all need to be kinder to ourselves. We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for, we keep going even though it feels like walking through mud at times!

Anxiety is a funny old thing and can manifest itself in so many different symptoms and has a very good way of telling your mind little lies. But again, you won't be alone when feeling a certain feeling or symptom, there will always be someone who has gone through it too! Don't suffer in silence either, that makes it soo much worse. Keep fighting and being strong, you can do this!

Don't fight it...

So after a recent bout of the dreaded anxiety, I felt that it was definitely about time to do some blog writing.

You would think after coming up to 4 years of having anxiety I would know what it was when it started creeping up again.

The truth is I probably did, but then why did I still insist on fighting against it, pushing it to one side because I didnt want to face it or admit that I was struggling.
The whole thing goes against what I've been harping on about all this time.

Just because our brains need a little TLC from time to time, why do we still feel embarrassed to say anything.

Pretending like there is nothing wrong only makes you feel worse. Even if that is just admitting it to yourself, it is sooo important to accept these wobbles.

It is exhausting when you are going through a tough time so don't make it harder by trying to put up a fight. It's ok to not be ok all of the time, we are only human after all.

Take Care.

Long time no write...

So, I don't really have anything in particular that I want to write about. I have just recently realised how much I miss writing.

Life is so busy, we often forget to do the things we actually love to do. I always think there is no point in writing if I nothing really interesting to say, or just for the sake of it. But I logged onto my blog page and I people are still reading my blog when I haven't even posted for months.

Someone also asked if I was still blogging because I hadn't posted anything for ages and they assumed I was feeling better because of this. I do feel better than I did when I first started writing this blog, but anxiety and worry is something I still deal with on a daily basis. But I suddenly realised it was seemed a little bit selfish of me to have only been writing during the time I was feeling my worst when every day is a struggle for some people. Plus you don't even have to have any specific reason to need a pick me up or a touch of motivation.

To see that people are still reading and using my blog as a way of helping themselves made me feel so happy. I guess I'm just trying to say I am still here, I still appreciate and feel overwhelmed that people even read my ramblings. And to remind everyone as well as myself, to never stop doing something you love because life gets in the way. Do what makes you happy :)

Be Kind to yourself...

Surprise Surprise I have been spending some time over thinking for a change. 

Being a person who wants to help other people I think it is very easy to forget about yourself sometimes. 

Since I have felt so much better anxiety wise,  I try and do a lot more than I would of dreamed of doing even just this time last year. 

When a day comes along where I think I dont feel 100% I get a huge feeling of guilt and tell myself I shouldn't be feeling like that, especially when I am supposed to be helping other people on a daily basis. I feel like I should be OK all the time and will let people down if I am not. 

I think again it comes down to comparing to other people and that you aren't a strong person if admit that you are struggling from time to time. 

I even feel I shouldn't write things on here anymore because it shows that I am not fine all of the time. Which in reality without me starting this blog and admitting how I was really feeling, I wouldn't be at the place I am today anyway. 

At the end of the day we are all human and it is perfectly fine to admit to having a wobble. When we have one of those days when we aren't really feeling ourselves, it is just a kind reminder that we do actually need to be a little selfish sometimes. 

You can't be there for other people if you aren't there for yourself.