Hey it's OK #2...

To like dogs more than you like some humans.

To cry. Let it all out :)

To not jump on the bandwagon.

To admit you need help with something. Everybody does!

To actually think you look nice in your new outfit.

Tuesday Pep Talk... #2

We are always told to treat other people how we want to be treated ourselves but yet we are often our own worst enemies.

It is all well and good being kind to other people (& please don't stop doing that) but what about being kind to ourselves?

Whenever you have a tough day with whatever it may be, you should make an effort to be kind to yourself instead of punishing yourself.

At the end of the day instead of feeling angry or annoyed about something that has happened or how you have been feeling you should do something you enjoy and/or treat yourself!

Have a bath, read, watch a film, do yoga, drink a hot drink, watch crap TV, have that takeaway you can't stop thinking about! Do whatever makes you happy! :)

Tuesday Pep Talk...

I am sure many of you can agree that we are all in need of a pep talk once in a while. I know myself suffering with anxiety I feel better once I have spoken about how I am feeling or what I am worrying about with someone else, whether it's just to put my mind at rest or to give more a more rational answer to a problem.

Being in a reflective mood I have been thinking about how things have changed since starting with bad anxiety and how they are now. The answer is, that lots of things have changed massively and that is a combination of things such as, getting older, leaving Uni, moving house etc.

I still feel annoyed and sometimes disappointed  with myself when I have one of those random anxious days, which luckily I can recognise much more easily and do something about it sooner. I have to remind myself that its fine to have those kind of days and we wouldn't be human without them. Its completely normal to have some anxiety when there are big changes happening in your life.

Think about those days when you have felt completely overwhelmed with anxiety and worry but it still didn't stop you from doing what you wanted to do, they are the reason you are where you are now. Anxiety does not define you it is just a part of you, it doesn't mean that you don't have aspirations and passions. You are still you, you still have your own personality and you are just as able as everyone else to enjoy your life!

I find pushing yourself to do something which you thought you would never be able to do helps so much. Doing something (no matter how small) which you previously thought would cause you to freak out and realising that you can do it just fine can fill you with confidence and make you so happy! Even if you do have a little wobble whilst you are doing it coming out the other side and realising you can do it, and it wasn't so bad after all is so worthwhile.

Remember you are not the only person feeling like this, whatever situation you are in I am sure there are multiple people who feel just the same as you do, you aren't alone.

Don't give up...

Dear Readers...

Don't be annoyed at yourself when things don't quite go to plan, remember you tried and be proud of yourself for doing just that.

Bad things will and do happen, and things do get better I promise. It is completely OK to accept the fact that you are feeling anxious, sad or down about something, be open about what that is and give whatever it is the time it needs.

When you feel like giving up, don't, you are stronger than you think.

Give yourself more credit, concentrate on how far you have come already.

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Rant...

So, I am a strong believer in being yourself and absolutely despise peer pressure. I don't know if this is just because I was born a 60 year old or I have just been there, done that and in some cases unfortunately worn in the t-shirt.

It has always kind of got to me how there are certain expectations to be a particular way in my generation and if you don't fit into this category you are immediately an outcast.

Who came up with the rules on how you should be/look/act at different times of your life? Apparently individuality is respected but then how come you are made to feel inadequate just because you aren't a clone of everybody else.

I don't understand why you should feel unhappy because you don't feel comfortable in certain situations or doing certain things. You wouldn't tell someone to do something to purposely make them feel unhappy so why is there so much pressure on people.

Be yourself, do what makes you happy, if people don't like you for being yourself then they aren't worth knowing! :)

...and breathe!

Thinking...

I guess I don't really know where to start with this blog post, I have been thinking about it for a couple of weeks and I don't believe that anything I write will actually be able to do the subject justice.

Just like the majority of the population I was shocked and saddened by the tragic death of Robin Williams and was overwhelmed by the impact he had upon people in my generation in particular.

It's really hard to put into words how I really feel, but it really does baffle me as to why we live in a society in which many areas continue to advance and change over night and we can't quite keep track of when the latest piece of technology is going to be created, yet our mental health is overlooked as though its just a nettle sting.

I don't believe that there is any excuse for people to not be aware of and understand what mental health and mental illness is yet there is still a huge stigma attached. It really just makes me so sad that it took something so awful and heartbreaking to happen for awareness to raised about something as serious as depression. I am sure we don't all have complete understanding about other illnesses which people we know suffer from but yet we manage to be supportive instead of ignorant.

The lack of support, awareness, understanding and the negative stigma surely can only make it so much worse for the sufferer and can result in devastating outcomes which could perhaps otherwise be prevented.

Why is something we all treasure in other circumstances forgotten about when it needs taking care of?
Talking is something so many people take for granted on a daily basis but it could be what saves someone else's life.

Understanding Anxiety - Unhelpful Thinking Styles...

Like I mentioned in my previous post Anxiety has been said to be a product of unhelpful thinking styles, which in most cases people see them as being unchangeable. Note, these ways of thinking are not labeled as 'Bad' but unhelpful, these thinking patterns are usually exaggerated due to the individual suffering from them not having the belief or strength that they can actually change them.

These thinking styles are unhelpful because of the impact that have on your thoughts and feelings about certain  things and how you respond as a result. Even if the root cause of your anxiety is not down to this, having unhelpful thoughts will intensify your anxious feelings and alter the way you act or behave.

Negative
Anxiety revolves around dwelling on what has happened in the past and worrying about what could happen in the future. Thinking in this way encourages negativity because we tend to only focus on the difficulties and bad times we experience. Having negative thoughts only increases anxiety but you have the ability to change how you think about a situation. Overall having anxiety isn't a very nice experience but try not to make it even worse by thinking negatively about it. It is common for anxiety sufferers to use one negative experience of something as a warning that something negative will happen every time you are going to do the same thing again.

Paranoid
Someone who usually worries a lot is likely to take things which other people say or do to heart or personally and will be quick to make assumptions about what people think of them.

Catastrophic
Catastrophising is the irrational thought that everything is much worse than it actually is. This is extremely common with someone who suffers from anxiety. Like I have mentioned many times a huge part of anxiety is spent predicting what might go wrong in the future and it is likely that whatever you have in mind will be the worst case scenario.

Black and white thinking
This kind of thinking is believing that something is all or nothing. This can lead to people with anxiety to put a large amount of pressure of themselves to be/do something in a certain way. As a result people usually become extremely self critical when little things go wrong or they don't quite feel right.

Like I said our thoughts can have a massive impact on feelings of anxiety, stress or just our moods in general.
Many of these thoughts take place without any control so therefore it is important to recognise them as just being 'thoughts' and the majority of the time are not based on facts.
Once you can identify the various unhelpful thought patterns which you can have you can begin to challenge them when they occur. The more you have the same unhelpful thoughts the more you start to understand why you are having them. If you can categorize your thoughts within the different thought patterns it becomes easier to manage them. If you get into the practice of writing down when you have one of those unhelpful thoughts seeing it written down also helps to put things into perspective. Seeing it written down on paper also allows you to create a contradictory thought which will help to prove how unrealistic your thoughts actually are.

Recognising when you are having the unhelpful thoughts and confronting them will have an impact on how you are feeling.